The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
