holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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