apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He? As in you personified your dick?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I deserve this hangover.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
