Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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