Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
