Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
