she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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