tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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