Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize