Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
