we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
