I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
