In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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