I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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