he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize
