we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
