The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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