Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
