after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
