Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
