from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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