Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
