p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
