i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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