2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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