you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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