Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
