my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
