never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize