You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize