I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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