I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize