You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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