but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
can u get pink eye on your cock?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
