Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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