im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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