Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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