just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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