Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's great music for shaving your balls
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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