i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
