They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
