these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
