So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
