Who wears a wallet chain?!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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