when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
