oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
