Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
