Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
