You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
