I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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