i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
