Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize