But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
