that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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