Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
