Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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