I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
