Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
