are you still at the devil's house?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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