yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
