is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
