she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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