Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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