My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
