At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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