yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize