Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
