That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
