Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
