At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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