If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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