He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
