I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
