Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
