Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
