So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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